Spicy's World

Dom Composer: What a Dom Should Be (The Dom I Aspire To Be)

domcomposer:

I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about the kind of Dom I want to be and here’s what I have so far:

Honest:  Probably the single most important thing to me in a D/s relationship is honesty.  I want to be a Dom that never lies or manipulates a sub under any circumstances. EVER.  And I will ALWAYS expect a sub’s complete honesty with me in return.

Humble:  I want to be a Dom with the humility to admit I have so much more to learn.  There is always more to learn.  After experiencing my first D/s relationship a few months ago, I learned quite a lot….chiefly that I can’t wait to learn more! 

Confident:  I want to be confident enough to stand up for myself or to make my will known….but it doesn’t stop there.  Confidence is also just as much about having the calm sense of self to know when you don’t need to fight this or that battle.  I want to be a dom that doesn’t need to impose my will when its not called for.    

Firm: I want to be a Dom that knows how to stick to his guns and put his foot down when necessary.

Patient/Flexible:  I want to be a Dom that helps my sub be the absolute best she can be and sometimes that means being patient and flexible as she struggles to learn how best to serve. 

Intelligent:  I want to be a Dom with the intelligence to always know when to be firm and when to be flexible.  When to punish/take control, or reward/relax the leash….I want to be a Dom with wisdom and insight worthy of respect and submission from nothing but the most intelligent/moral/fantastic subs there are.  

Humorous:  I don’t want to be some stiff/strict stern-faced Dom all the time.  I want to be able to laugh and approach this entire world with a bit of a sense of humor.  After all, ultimately, this should be about having fun and connecting with someone on a deep and profound level. 

Resourceful:  Sometimes, environments, situations or even life circumstances will undermine the d/s dynamic or threaten to hurt the relationship.  The Dom I want to be has the resourcefulness to NEVER allow that to happen.

Creative:  The Dom I want to be never runs out of creative, unique ideas for re-enforcing the D/s dynamic.  He never runs out of new ways to keep a good sub in line, challenge her to be the best she can be, push/punish her when she falters, and reward her when she succeeds.   

Safe:  Despite the occasional spankings, orders, orgasm denial, you-name-it, the Dom I want to be, is always a symbol of safety and warmth for any deserving/worthy sub.  I would never want a sub not to see me that way first and foremost.

Moral: (This one almost goes without saying though I’ve encountered some VERY immoral people and stories in the past year)….I want to be a Dom that knows the difference between right and wrong and never strays from those principles.  

Caring:  I want to be a Dom that NEVER loses sight of the fact that all of this, this entire world/lifestyle, stems from how much I care, how strong my feelings are for a worthy sub.  And when times get tougher or bumps in the road occur, I want to be a Dom that can always access the most caring and compassionate parts of myself to steer us both in the right direction. 

So that’s what I got so far…..

I like this a lot!